How to Develop a Good Habit

Q: Why don't nuns have to worry about deciding what to wear?

A: Because they have a habit.

A habit is a shortcut that makes your life easier because you don't have to spend energy choosing to do it. It's mentally exhausting thinking about every action and every behaviour. If you're spending several minutes two or three times a week looking for your keys that adds up to a lot of frustration and wasted time. And that may point to an area in your life in need of a habit. Similarly, if you've been meaning to incorporate, say, journalling into your morning practice, but it just hasn't happened, then it's pretty clear you haven't developed that habit. Or if your car stays super cluttered and that bothers you, then there may be another habit you need to develop.

Your schedule consists of three basic elements-appointments, to-do items, and habits. An appointment is a commitment with yourself or with another person. Your to-do list is essentially a wish list-it's like that drawer in your kitchen where you dump all that stuff that doesn't have a home yet. And habits are the third element. Brushing your teeth, for example, is not a to-do item, nor is it something we typically put on the calendar as an appointment. It's a habit-something we do on autopilot.

I'd like to invite you to consider a habit that you would like to develop, then spend 30 seconds identifying a strategy, and then make that strategy a rule. Strategy turns to rule and then, with any luck, that rule becomes a new habit.

Let's take the example of someone who spends several minutes each week looking for her misplaced keys. In her 30-second problem-solving period she might come up with a reasonable strategy like, "When I walk in my house, then I'll put my keys in the candy dish by the door." Next, she'll make that strategy a rule. She'll add an evening reminder to her calendar and if she has not followed her rule, she will stop what she's doing and over-correct: She'll pop downstairs and put the keys into the candy dish five times. She is over-practicing, or over-rehearsing, in an effort to lay down this new habit.

Step two is to make that strategy a rule in the form of when/then: When I walk in the door, then I put the keys in the dish. And step three is to make an appointment with yourself at the end of the day to determine whether in fact you have followed through. If you've picked a good strategy, this process should yield a new habit easily enough. On the other hand, if you don't find that your new habit is easy to establish, you might need to go back to the drawing board and spend another 30 seconds identifying a new strategy.

Let's try it

OK, let's go: Spend 30 seconds right now identifying a strategy in the form of when/then. For example, "When I leave the office, then I will head straight to the gym." Or, "When I order a salad, then I'll request dressing on the side." Or, "When my supervisor speaks sharply with me and I want to say something rude, then I'll place my tongue at the roof of my mouth right behind my front teeth and count to five."

Go ahead, identify the strategy; if you feel stuck, reach out to some creative friends. Just make sure that you've come up with a good strategy before you move onto the next step-making that strategy a rule. Agree with yourself in writing: Put it on your calendar. And schedule an evening check-in.

Develop a strategy, make it a rule, and develop a new habit. Wash, rinse and repeat...

Good luck with this process, tell me bout your successes or frustrations developing a new habit. Especially tell me about any tweaks to the process that made it more effective for you!

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Develop-a-Good-Habit&id=8889047

It Will Happen

How to Prioritize Your Goals

As to which goals are most important at any given time, you'll need to ask yourself some questions to determine where to place your focus.

* Which goals nag at you most often? What keeps you up at night that worries you? Are your finances suffering because you cannot earn enough money at your current job and you want to figure out how to get off the debt treadmill? This is a goal that fits in with all four of the areas above because financial stress can cause a lot of problems with your health and personal development as well as cause problems within the family.

* Which goals can be accomplished most easily? Some goals are very short term but give maximum impact without too much work. For instance, maybe you have a goal of walking 15 minutes per day. This goal may only fit in with the personal and physical areas above, but walking 15 minutes per day will not take much away from the other areas and can give you huge results and a feeling of accomplishment.

* Which goals would give you the most pride in yourself? Will you feel better if you lose 20 pounds or will you feel better if you spend 20 minutes extra with your son? Keep in mind there is no wrong answer, although being healthy might ultimately give you more time in terms of years with your son.

* Which goals have the most permanent results? When choosing whether to spend that extra money on your degree, determine how permanent the results are, and realize that no one can take that degree from you; it will always be an accomplishment. What is it worth?

* Which goals will still impact me in 5 years, or 10 years? If you start a business today, and work daily toward meeting the goals of that business, what will be different in five or ten years? How will that impact you now and in the future?

* Which goals align with your core values in life? Any goal that fits into all four areas of your life is worth pursuing if it also fits into your schedule at the time.

* Which goals are completely up to you, that you control 100 percent? Remember that you cannot control what anyone else does, so if any goal relies on the participation of someone else, and you don't have their participation, you might want to switch gears and focus on something only you control.

* Which goals are just for you? Some goals are completely personal in nature and have nothing to do with anyone else. For instance, you might want to read a particular author that has nothing to do with anything but your own pleasure. This is perfectly fine.

* Which goals are just for others? There are "shoulds" that often get in the way of proper goal setting and these are goals that are only for other people. Your spouse wants you to lose weight, your mom wants you to go to college, your best friend wants you to start a business. None of these are a good reason to do something, although as long as you know going in why, it's okay to make it a goal.

* Which goals cause you the most fear? Why? Sometimes the very thing you fear most is what's best for you to do. Look clearly at your goal and figure out why it frightens you. Sometimes it's the unknown, and like ripping off a Band-Aid, just doing it might be the best cure.

* Which goals make you excited? Some goals immediately send tingles down your body and into your mind, pushing you forward to doing it. These are goals that are easy to do and probably impact your life a lot. However, do pay attention because if it's a goal of becoming the high scorer on a video game you might want to question your "why".

* Which goals are most realistic? The best goals to put first are the goals that best fit into your life today, cover all four areas of life, and still fit into your schedule and where you control 100 percent of the effort.

When you answer all these questions, you'll be able to see how the goals practically organize themselves. Try making a chart and adding each goal to the four areas, then choosing the ones that cross the most areas to add to your schedule first.

Cheers to your future and your greatness within it!

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Prioritize-Your-Goals&id=8879723

Achieve The Impossible

Say Goodbye to the Old Year!

Ever wonder why we make such a big deal about resolutions when so many people either don't make them (less than 40%) or if they do, only about 8% actually happen? Wishful thinking maybe? Or possibly, "Where did I hide that magic wand anyway?"

So if they don't work, how about for starters we just throw out the whole idea of resolutions. Let go of the practice entirely. Decide that this year you just won't be joining that crowd.

"But what is the alternative?", you may ask. Do we just give up, hang our heads, and never get what we want or need? That seems as unworkable as a resolution.

My answer is to, instead, just set a straight up reasonable goal or intention with no pressure, no fanfare, no guarantees. Don't make any unreasonable promises either. And definitely don't run out and buy the first gadget, expensive software, or gym membership to incent you to actually do it.

Unless you are the type who needs your feet put to the fire or someone chasing you with a hot poker to ensure you get them done, then by all means hire someone to do that for (or with) you. Barring that, there is no better way to get what you want or need than to just take one small step towards it.

No big deal made of it. No huge announcement.

Still not feeling the love? Then how about this approach, one that I developed which combines a few tools I've used in the past along with a new, fun one I picked up this year.

Here goes... the simple, easy plan...

First, get a piece of paper or two (a journal if you prefer) and write down as many WINS and successes from last year you can possibly remember. Pull out last year's calendar to help remind you. Ask someone who knows you well to help fill it in even more. This is your time to pat yourself on the back and remind yourself of your successes. This is not the time to berate yourself for so little accomplished or to rag on yourself for not getting more done. Pats on the back only please!

Second, next to each win, ask yourself, "What did I learn or glean from this win or success?" Write that down next to the win. No belittling allowed here. There was a reason you accomplished it, no matter how small you deem it. What was the outcome? How did it make you feel?

Third, scan your list of what you learned from each win or success. What do they have in common? Do you see a trend or commonality? If so, write that down.

Fourth, use that commonality in setting your new goal or intention. One goal or intention. Not a huge list (unless you love lists and they motivate you), just one, simple, straight forward intention.

And finally, say goodbye to the old year. Now that you've gleaned from it what you need, let it go, send it on its way with a loving "bye, bye!" Make a celebration or ritual of it, a goodbye party if you wish, or light a candle and say a prayer but do say goodbye in an intentional, clear way.

No hanging onto the past. Now it's time to take your first baby step.

No guilt please. Say goodbye to that too. And remember, that failure is part of the process. Every successful endeavour has a few missteps or goof ups. Use those for your course correction and step once again onto your path to your accomplishment.

No step is too small. No accomplishment is unimportant.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Say-Goodbye-to-the-Old-Year!&id=8910464