7 Steps Towards a Positive State of Mind

Most of us have heard the saying: The optimist sees the glass half full, while the pessimist sees it half-empty. In its simplest terms, positive thinking is optimism and negative thinking is pessimism. It is an attitude towards life, yourself and particular predicaments and events in life.

Positive thinkers quickly zone in on the positive side of even the darkest moments in their lives, and often see those predicaments as opportunities for growth and learning. Positive thinkers are resilient and able to deal with stressful situations in productive ways.

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine."- Anthony J. D'Angelo

Becoming a positive thinker is not necessarily something that will happen overnight. Depending on the severity of the negativity, it can take time to make appropriate changes.

The practice of positive thinking, and making it a character trait rather than a one-time thing, takes effort, patience, and time. If optimism is not natural to you, there are ways to turn it around.

Work towards combating the negativity you identified and maintaining an optimistic nature and use these steps as tools in the process.

7 Steps To A Positive Attitude

1. Say something positive whenever you think something negative. The tricky part about this is catching each negative thought as is happens. As much as possible, stop the negative thought as it happens and say something constructive to yourself, such as "today is going to be great."

Positive affirmations can be recited daily to reprogram the mind of negative thinking. There is a positive opposite for virtually everything negative...

"The weather is too hot." versus "The sun feels good on my skin."

"People at work are annoying." versus "It's great to a have a team to help with the workload."

"I look fat in that dress." versus "I look awesome in that dress."

"I screwed up again." versus "I made a mistake that I will learn from."

"I should be graduating at the top of my class." versus "I am so proud that I am graduating."

"All this snow is a hassle; it makes life harder and creates more work." versus "The snow left my backyard looking like a scene from a postcard."

"My husband cooked dinner for me, but it was only pasta." versus "I so appreciate my husband cooking dinner for me."

"I worked hard all day but did not get nearly enough done." versus "Wow, what a productive day I had at work."

2. Laugh often. Negative thinkers tend to be very uptight, and it's no wonder considering the heavy burden they often carry and the lack of positivity in their life. Allow yourself to laugh and often. Seek out scenarios where you laugh, like hanging out with funny people or visiting comedy clubs. Learn to see the humor in life, even during painful times. Laughter reduces stress, stops you from taking everything too seriously, and yields a more optimistic outlook.

3. Surround yourself with positive people. Negativity breeds more negativity. A positive attitude is contagious, and the best way to adopt such a thought process is to learn first-hand from a master. Having positive people in your life will allow you to view first-hand what it looks like, and positive people will give you uplifting advice, feed a positive outlook and problem solving suggestions, as opposed to negative people who will only want to sink in the muck with you and feed your negativity.

4. View every experience as a learning opportunity. Consider this scenario. A positive thinker finds out that their significant other has cheated. They break off the relationship, evaluate what went wrong, and attempt to learn from the situation, viewing it as a growing experience and a stepping-stone to a brighter future with someone else. Their process is a positive one that will include pain, and anger, but the way the positive thinker deals with it is constructive. The optimist knows that not everyone is a liar or a cheater, and that they can and will meet someone honest.

A negative thinker founds out that their significant other has been unfaithful and thinks thoughts like, "all men/women are liars and cheats;" I hate them all." They will dwell in the misery, and pain, and not view the experience as a learning process. They may become consumed by anger and hatred and generalize the entire opposite sex as evil, and eventually they may fall into a state of depression and experience anxiety and other ill health effects. Their next relationship may inevitably suffer, as their general distrust of the opposite sex will surely affect intimacy.

The positive thinker's resiliency and attitude allows them to grow through the painful experience, come out better for it on the other side, and avoid possible health manifestations that can result from negativity and its stress.

The negative thinker's own attitude will result in them missing an opportunity to grow, and the stress that attitude puts on their emotional and mental health will only harm them in the long run.

5. Adopt practices such as yoga, meditation, aromatherapy, tai chi and deep relaxation. These practices help you to focus your mind, build self-awareness, and obtain a deep peace. They also help you to maintain awareness about your thoughts and feelings, which helps you to control them so that you can build more positive energy in your mind and body.

6. Use positive affirmations. Our own inner dialogue determines our emotions, this means that we must be deliberate and conscious about what we say to ourselves. Speak positive affirmations to yourself every day, as they can help re-program your mind towards the positive mode and control your inner dialog.

Our mind is a garden and our attitudes are the seeds of its life, so plant healthy and weed regularly! Always repeat positive affirmations phrased in the present and personal tense, for example:

"I like myself!"

"I love today!"

"I love my life!"

"I see the positive in everything!"

"I can deal with anything!"

"I am strong!"

"I am optimistic!"

"I enjoy being around positive people!"

"I am aware of my thoughts"

And my favourite of all - "You are stronger than you seem, braver than you believe and far more capable than you think you are."

7. Practice Gratitude. There are multiple methods to transform your negative feelings. One of the fastest and highly effective ways is to harvest feelings of thankfulness and appreciation directed towards:

• Yourself

• Other people in your life

• Material things

• Your life circumstances

• And even strangers

Practice starting your day by focusing on being grateful, and bring to mind several specific things. This will help you move your mind towards positive thinking and positive energy vibrations.

There is nothing stopping you from achieving a more positive state of mind other than yourself. Start by acknowledging your negative thoughts, determining their source, and then transforming them into positivity.

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Living Your Purpose

You have a purpose. You have specific gifts, talents, and abilities that are uniquely yours. At the intersection of "what you love to do" and "what you are good at" you will find your purpose. Do you know your purpose? Do you know why you are here on this planet? If not, then it's time to ask the questions:

• What do I love to do?
• What am I good at?
• When do I feel most alive?

Once you have answered these questions you need to gather the courage and confidence to act upon the answers.

In my speaking and coaching work I have met thousands of people who are on purpose. They are people who are good at what they do and they love what they do. They are people in health care, banking, manufacturing, education, associations, and government. There are leaders, writers, musicians, speakers, consultants, and artists. Each person brings their unique set of gifts in service to others.

At the same time I have met thousands of people who dislike their work. These people are not on purpose. They may complain about the organisation, their compensation, their fellow employees, and a host of other things. Their real problem is that they are not on purpose. When you are not on purpose you create stress, pain, and conflict for yourself. Your gifts lay within you, unopened, abandoned. Much has been said about what to do to motivate people. Meaning and purpose motivate people. Truly successful organisations are made up of people doing work they love toward a meaningful purpose

Many will say that they know what their gift is, but they can't make any money at it. There is a way to make money at anything. The problem isn't money. It's confidence. They really don't believe their gifts have value, and so they believe no one else will value them either.

Once you develop confidence, you begin to see opportunities. The world, and possibly the organisation you work in, have abundant opportunities for you to live your purpose. This brings up the other reason for not living on purpose. We tell ourselves that we are not getting the support we need from others. Our family, friends, and colleagues are not cheering us on.

From the day you are born you will receive comments, opinions and criticisms from others. You must choose whether you are living their dream or your own. You must decide that your purpose is too important to abdicate responsibility for it to others.

If the biggest problem is confidence, then how do we get the confidence? Here are some ideas for you: 

1. Listen to the still small voice within. Practise listening to your intuition and following it. This voice should trump all external voices when deciding how to live your life. Access this voice through prayer, meditation, or quiet contemplation.

2. Study and practise to develop your gifts. Confidence increases with knowledge and skill.

3. Let go of the negative opinions of others. You owe it to yourself to listen within and trust that inner voice rather than putting your trust in the opinions of others. Find people who will encourage and respect your gifts, because they will reflect back to you your growing inner confidence. On the other hand, listen carefully and non judgmentally to criticism. Valid criticism will show you where you need more learning and practise. Invalid criticism will test your resolve.

4. Don't waste your time comparing yourself to others. Certainly others may serve as models for you, but envy and negative comparison will not help you. Do your best with what you have now.

5. Make sure the purpose you are expressing is really yours, and not one assigned to you by someone else. Also, know that a purpose can be very simple. It isn't always romantic or grand, but it does feel good. I have had clerks in stores and servers in restaurants who have made my day. These amazing people were each living their purpose. I have met assembly line workers, custodians, and receptionists who were living their purpose. They brought total focus and joy to their work. Sometimes your purpose is not "out there somewhere", but it's right here in front of you. Live the purpose that feels right to you.

6. There are no good excuses for why you can't follow your purpose. Make time. At one point in my life I decided to hone in on my purpose. Every night before falling asleep, I asked the question: What is my purpose? I placed a notepad and pen next to my bed. When I awoke, I wrote down the first thing that came to mind. I did this for seven consecutive mornings. Once I defined my purpose, I listed all of the things I was good at and that I enjoyed doing down the left side of a piece of paper. Next, I listed all of the industries I could think of across the top of the page. I divided my paper into columns and rows, creating a matrix. I placed X's on my matrix wherever I saw a fit between skills/interests and industries. I highlighted the industries where I felt most excited about expressing my skills and interests. I decided to focus my attention on positions in the industries where my skills and interests fit and where I felt the greatest enthusiasm. Within a week I found an ad that matched my area of focus. I was hired within a two months.

Maybe you already know your purpose. Are you challenged enough? Can you be living your purpose at a higher level? Once you find your purpose it is important to continue learning and growing. Listen to the voice within and follow it. There is a reason you are here. Whether you see yourself as young or old, working or retired, you have a purpose. It is calling to you from deep within. Answer the call. Allow it to take hold of you. It is in living your purpose that you will find fulfilment.

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